{"id":1335,"date":"2017-04-24T14:23:43","date_gmt":"2017-04-24T12:23:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.uab.cat\/saramartinalegre\/?p=1335"},"modified":"2017-04-24T14:23:43","modified_gmt":"2017-04-24T12:23:43","slug":"stuck-in-a-rut-misogyny-and-feminism","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/webs.uab.cat\/saramartinalegre\/2017\/04\/24\/stuck-in-a-rut-misogyny-and-feminism\/","title":{"rendered":"STUCK IN A RUT: MISOGYNY AND FEMINISM<\/strong>"},"content":{"rendered":"

My post today is inspired by an article in the Verne<\/em> section of El pa\u00eds<\/em>, which offers a summary of the messages that many Spanish women have sent to Twitter in reaction to the hashtag #comomujermehapasado (more or less: \u2018as a woman I have gone through that\u2019) (see http:\/\/verne.elpais.com\/verne\/2017\/04\/13\/articulo\/1492088562_028524.html<\/a>). I find that whenever a piece of news that decries misogyny is published in the Spanish press, the readers\u2019 comments offer an appalling stream of anti-feminist abuse. I believe, then, that in this specific case and also generally, the real situation of gender issues in this country is reflected not by the article, or even by the women\u2019s tweets, but by the negative comments written by male readers (either anonymously or using their own name).<\/p>\n

This specific piece inspired 446 contributions (apart from the many, perhaps 50, erased by the moderator), which amount to a much, much longer text than the article itself. Actually, the persons contributing to the discussion were few, perhaps around 20 and, of course, it\u2019s difficult to say if any of them were women because of the nicknames (I would say 2 were women). Here, in any case, I highlight a particularly recurring trend: many comments by male readers express complaints about the negative situations that men face; this is done not at all in solidarity with women but arguing that women should not complain because men do not complain. <\/p>\n

Let me rephrase this. Many men feel that they face unfair situations yet, instead of exposing these situations\u2013as they should\u2013they reject women\u2019s exposure of their own abuse (by men). I keep silent, you keep silent. This seems to be their motto. I don\u2019t whine, you don\u2019t whine\u2013yet they do whine. The men\u2019s attitude is summarized by the words of one \u2018Julito Iglesias\u2019: \u201chay montones de situaciones injustas que afectan a los hombres y ellas aqu\u00ed llorando??\u201d The other most common feeling is expressed by \u2018horton\u2019: \u201cAdoctrinamiento diario de las femis. Co\u00f1azo diario. Nada nuevo\u201d and \u201cLas femis ya no saben qu\u00e9 inventar para sacar mas (sic) tajada y aumentar su ya millonario negociazo\u201d. Incidentally, the word \u2018hembrista\u2019 appears quite frequently in the comments. According to this ideology, a reader explains, men who wish, for example, to access public bodies such as the police or the fire fighters need to possess higher physical qualifications than women. That is, life is made more demanding for men than for women because \u2018hembrista\u2019 women want it so.<\/p>\n

I think that rather than quote verbatim the many comments, and since you may read them for yourself, I\u2019ll just sum up the most often repeated arguments. These are also common to many similar articles I have read in the same newspaper:<\/p>\n

*there is also a long list of clich\u00e9s about men (about which men do not complain)
\n*women also abuse men verbally all the time (men put up with this with no complaint)
\n*women may not abuse men physically, but the psychological violence they cause is even more harmful than the physical violence by men; women\u2019s violence, however, is not visible because the media silence it (also the \u2018femis\u2019 allied with the Government)
\n*(contradicting the above), women also use physical violence against men; men do not complain out of prudence, or because they are mocked (by women, also by other men)
\n*the statistics indicate that at least 29 men were killed in 2013 by their female partners or ex-partners (see https:\/\/www.buzzfeed.com\/beatrizserranomolina\/no-existen-los-30-hombres-asesinados-por-mujeres?utm_term=.feJ5QNgN5#.oiowY6l6w<\/a>)
\n*men put up with many daily inconveniences, such as dress codes requiring suit and tie for the office even in summer (when women may wear light dresses)
\n*men often have to put up with women\u2019s criticism about the following: they don\u2019t know how to handle babies, can\u2019t do two things at the same time, lack a fashion sense, are always thinking about sex, obsess about the size of their penis, are all of them violent\u2026
\n*when men did the military service, women simply went on with their lives; in other instances in which men are unfairly treated, women keep silent
\n*men complain that if they report inequalities against them, then they are insulted (called \u2018marichulo\u2019) both by women and by men
\n*men are discriminated against in cases of divorce and hardly ever granted custody of their children, either individually or jointly
\n*many women who report couple-related violence to the police lie (see http:\/\/politica.elpais.com\/politica\/2016\/03\/17\/actualidad\/1458206253_890573.html<\/a>)
\n*all persons receive negative comments and those which women receive are not part of generalized sexism, but just individual occurrences
\n*gender-specific violence does not exist: violence is a fact of life for both men and women
\n*the pay gap is a myth: women earn less money because a) they choose jobs with lower financial rewards; b) they are not as good as men at negotiating their salaries for top positions
\n*the tweets in answer to the hashtag #comomujermehapasado are quite trivial and only show that misogyny is decreasing; many men face similar situations but do not complain precisely because they are banal<\/p>\n

The underlying supposition is this: the institutions favour \u2018hembrismo\u2019, facilitating the imposition of a radically androphobic feminist culture and legislation. Feminists are part of a powerful circle that benefits greatly from the Government budget, both collectively and personally. Any complaint by men is either silenced with abuse, or treated as politically incorrect\u2013which is why men do not express their own suffering, as they see no point. Women have all the power, since \u201cTiran m\u00e1s dos tetas que una carreta, y eso la mujer lo aprende desde joven. Lo dem\u00e1s es tonteria. Ellas mandan\u201d (this is a verbatim quotation in the same article, appeared, remember in El pa\u00eds<\/em>).<\/p>\n

If this lengthy exchange happened, this is because there were at least two dissident men. One, a teacher, intervened again and again, telling at one point one of the contributors: \u201c\u00bfNo te da pena? \u00bfHay un mont\u00f3n de situaciones injustas que afectan las mujeres y t\u00fa solo te miras tu ombligo? Adem\u00e1s de machista egoc\u00e9ntrico (perd\u00f3n, que va incluido)\u201d. Another one writes: \u201cTengo dos hijas y quiero mucho a mi mujer, a los hombres que se r\u00eden aqu\u00ed \u00bfde verdad pens\u00e1is que, a\u00fan, no existe desigualdad y prepotencia de nosotros a ellas? No creo que lo vuestro sea s\u00f3lo machismo, es ego\u00edsmo\u201d. I need not add anything to these men\u2019s words. Let me insist, however, that they are the only dissenting voices in a string of misogynistic comments published by the leading liberal newspaper in Spain. If readers of El pa\u00eds<\/em> are so recalcitrant, I really wonder what the rest are like. (See my previous post \u201cOf men and grassroots reality\u201d, http:\/\/blogs.uab.cat\/saramartinalegre\/2016\/03\/28\/of-men-masculinities-studies-and-the-grassroots-reality\/<\/a>).<\/p>\n

Clearly, misogynistic men cannot be addressed with rational arguments, as to begin with they are already convinced of their positions. Of course, they will reply that so are we, the feminazis. There is, then, very little hope that we can understand each other. It seems to me, then, that we, feminist women, need to support above all the men who are willing to speak for us, like the two I have quoted above. Not instead<\/em> of us, mind you, but for<\/em> us\u2013as true gentlemen, the kind of men we need in the anti-patriarchal fight. And I really mean it.<\/p>\n

Beyond the issue of the responsibility that liberal pro-feminist media like El pa\u00eds<\/em> bear in granting a space for misogynistic trolling to these readers, which is not really a minor issue, we need to wonder why recalcitrant men are locked in this no-win situation. If, as men, you are suffering and need to express your grievances, by all means go ahead. If a woman is ill-treating you, the way to make this situation visible publicly is not by declaring \u201cI\u2019m also a victim of abuse but I don\u2019t complain\u201d. The way to go is to say \u201cI\u2019m also a victim of abuse; if we join forces, then we can hopefully liberate all personal relationships from violence\u201d. If, however, a man begins by denying that gender-related violence exists, how can he expect to be heeded as a victim? If you deny someone else\u2019s suffering, you\u2019re complicit with the perpetrator.<\/p>\n

I agree 100% that all situations of abuse are caused by a power imbalance. Since power is mainly in men\u2019s hands (not all men\u2019s hands, I know), they appear to be the main perpetrators of violence. The women who abuse their power within the couple, their family, their work environment, etc., also commit unpardonable offences. What is totally unfair is to disregard reality and claim that the amount of abuse committed by men and women is the same. Supposing the gender gap does not exist, and this is a lot to suppose, the reality is that women are abused collectively by Governments that deny their citizens\u2019 rights and individually by patriarchal men who think that female bodies are objects for their pleasure\u2013just because they are women.<\/p>\n

The point I\u2019m raising is that we are not moving forward because for us, women, to sympathise with men\u2019s patriarchal grievances, ours have to be acknowledged first. The \u201cI don\u2019t whine, you don\u2019t whine discourse\u201d leads nowhere. Well, it leads to the pages of El pa\u00eds<\/em>\u2026 Deep sigh.<\/p>\n

Misogynistic and androphobic bitterness often has personal reasons. I don\u2019t mean by this that it\u2019s purely an individual matter. However, feminism taught us long ago that the personal is political and there is no doubt that radical feminism and misogyny also reflect personal experience. The man who declares that he loves his wife and daughters (and if he does that, this is because he is loved back) is not misogynistic. One of the most recalcitrant male readers ends up commenting on his difficult separation from his wife. Many opinions are based on personal experience at work, as well. <\/p>\n

Am I saying that we should put up with misogyny and androphobia for the sake of inter-gender peace? Not at all. What I am saying is that each of us is both an individual and a representative of our gender (sorry to use basic binarism here). If you crack a joke at women\u2019s expense, expect women to retaliate\u2013and the other way round. Etc., etc. Some men will be misogynistic no matter what women do, and some women think that men are collectively despicable no matter what they actually do. But let\u2019s aim at the rest, who happen to be the majority.<\/p>\n

The silent majority that leaves no opinions in El pa\u00eds<\/em>, because, as one reader concludes, \u201cthe better I know people, the more I prefer the company of fish\u201d. Me too. <\/p>\n

I publish a new post every Tuesday. Comments are very welcome! (Thanks!) Just be warned that I check them for spam; it might take a few days for yours to be online. Follow the blog updates on Twitter: @SaraMartinUAB and download the yearly volumes from http:\/\/ddd.uab.cat\/record\/116328. See also: http:\/\/gent.uab.cat\/saramartinalegre\/. <\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My post today is inspired by an article in the Verne section of El pa\u00eds, which offers a summary of the messages that many Spanish women have sent to Twitter in reaction to the hashtag #comomujermehapasado (more or less: \u2018as a woman I have gone through that\u2019) (see http:\/\/verne.elpais.com\/verne\/2017\/04\/13\/articulo\/1492088562_028524.html). I find that whenever a piece […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":98,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[212],"class_list":["post-1335","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sin-categoria","tag-gender-studies"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/webs.uab.cat\/saramartinalegre\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1335","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/webs.uab.cat\/saramartinalegre\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/webs.uab.cat\/saramartinalegre\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/webs.uab.cat\/saramartinalegre\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/98"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/webs.uab.cat\/saramartinalegre\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1335"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/webs.uab.cat\/saramartinalegre\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1335\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/webs.uab.cat\/saramartinalegre\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1335"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/webs.uab.cat\/saramartinalegre\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1335"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/webs.uab.cat\/saramartinalegre\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1335"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}