Before writing this post I have checked my other two posts, written in the same week of January, in 2011 and 2012. Yes, this is the time when I must mark the papers (1,200 words on average each, including abstract and bibliography) for Victorian Literature (second year, compulsory). This year there are 53, I’ve gone through 44 in 3 days, 9 more left for tomorrow. And, then, in two weeks time, possibly 15 will bounce back in, I hope, much improved second versions.
What is worrying me this time is how long marking is taking me (I’m no doubt getting old). I initially thought I could do 18 every day in three days, but I have ended up doing only 10 the first day, 19 yesterday, 14 today, with 9 left for tomorrow (with emails as short breaks, lots of coffee, too much chocolate). My working day, which started at 8:30, is not quite over yet (it’s only 15:15); still, the headache that has forced me to give up at one final point these last two days is already here. (It leaves 30 minutes after I quit)
I was reading yesterday that working with your brain is really tiring to an extent that is hard to imagine for people working with their body. It really is. I think we misunderstand very badly the effort it takes. Particularly, marking – it’s so exhausting that I’m taking a break to write, as writing feels like rest. What, then, I’m wondering, is so tiring? And, obviously, can I make this task lighter?
As I wrote last year, the problem is that I can’t simply read, I must correct everything down to the last comma (I proof-read, yes). I’m beginning to hesitate about whether this is professionalism or a pathology, a mild a compulsive-obsessive disorder (or OCD). Perhaps it’s the same thing, as academic work seems at times pathological in its compulsory attention to detail. Every time I correct a comma or change a word for a better synonym, I wonder what effect this has on my students –why is she so picky? I’m sure they wonder. My comfort is that ex-students often thank me for being so punctilious, which doesn’t help, by the way, to alleviate the burden, just in case I miss something relevant. Anything.
This year, I must say, the papers are quite good –some a real pleasure to read. This is very rewarding, and an enticement to go on, believe me. In quite a few cases, I wish I had time to continue the conversation on Charles Dickens or Anne Brontë over coffee but there’s no time, everything is rushed so… The worse thing, of course, is writing the comments on the less accomplished papers. I realise that I must be precise about what exactly is wrong with a paper to help the student improve but, my God, it’s really difficult to find the right tone and strike the perfect balance between advice and dismissal. I do my best…
In the end, I realise, it’s not so much a matter of what marking entails but of the amount of energy it takes with so many students. To be honest, I don’t know that 53 are a high number but when I think I’ll have 80 in my first year course next semester I do panic. Numbers in my elective, 30, seem about right but, then, in our state of crisis, this feels like luxury. I’ll enjoy it while it lasts…